


Your Delicious Confidence (Yummy)

by orphan_account



Series: You Can Cook For Me [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: (end of trigger warnings), Bottom Mark Lee (NCT), Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Mark Lee (NCT), Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Mark Lee Are Best Friends, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT)-centric, Mark please love your thicc self, Married Life, Mild Sexual Content, Panic Attacks, Pole Dancing, References to Depression, Swearing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Trigger warnings:, but non-sexual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:40:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24815464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A pole dancing class?  A sassy new friend?  Maybe 28 isn't too old to learn how to love yourself.-------Note that this is Mark-centric (but dw, there's a lot of Yukhei)!  Also, please read the last few tags for trigger warnings!
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Mark Lee/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Series: You Can Cook For Me [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1911745
Comments: 27
Kudos: 168





	1. Awkward Conversations

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! This is my very first fic I'm actually posting on AO3, so I'd love for some constructive criticism. I'm planning on turning this into a 3 part fic, but I'm not sure how that's going to go. I wrote this fic not only because Markhei is just *chef kisses*, but also because I feel like it's morals need to be shared with the world! I hope you enjoy!

Mark Lee is certainly not the confident type. He’s not the kind of person that flaunts their figure or likes attention about his body, even if it’s his own husband complimenting him. It’s just that Mark may seem like the dirty minded type, but in reality, he’s quite conservative when it comes to well… bedroom stuff. Maybe that’s the reason he always felt like a pillow princess; just taking and taking what Yukhei is so willing to give: pleasure. And the thing is, Yukhei loves pleasuring Mark in all ways. It’s his form of pleasure himself.

But even though Mark was very aware of this (after, of course, a very awkward discussion about kinks they shared on what was supposed to be a very relaxing movie night), he couldn’t help but think that he needed to do more. But what? And that’s what led Mark to sitting in the outside seating zone of a coffee shop with Ten.

“You think I should do what now???”

The older took a sip of his sugary latte.

“Pole dancing! It never hurt anyone, and I think your hubby is going to enjoy it!”

Mark groaned and hid his face in the crook of his elbow. “Hyung, but isn’t that… dirty?”

Ten began to laugh. Mark was very annoyed. Was it that sugary drink making him like this? He’s usually the kind to drink iced coffee. _Yes, it was probably this newfound switch to vanilla that’s making him say this stuff,_ Mark thought. “Mark fucking Lee, you’ve been married to Yukhei for 2 years, you’re 28 years old, you’ve had sex SEVERAL times with him, and you think that putting on a little show for him is too dirty? Damn, I knew you were modest, but like-”

Mark fumbled his hand out in front of Ten. “Shhhhhh! My gosh, you’re so obnoxiously loud, you know that?”

Ten laughed even harder. “See what I mean?! You need to stop ostracizing getting laid, for goodness sakes, kid. You’re at the prime of your life!"

The younger blushed furiously and swiped at his nose in an attempt to hide it. “Anyways,” Ten continued. “I think you should try it! I attended a few classes with Hendery a few weeks back, and it honestly did wonders for my posture. Not to mention, I bet Johnny was thankful I went too.” Mark, absolutely done with Ten, rolled his eyes. “Hyung, I’m sorry, but I kinda don’t want to hear about you and Johnny’s erotic sex life.”

“Suit yourself, Mr. ‘I want to do something for Yukhei in the bedroom so I talk to Ten the bottoming king’. But in reality, Mark, I think you should honestly attend a few classes. They’re purely recreational, judgment free, and I think it’ll help your body positivity.”

“My what?”

Ten sighed and set down his almost-finished vanilla latte. “Mark, I’m gonna be quite frank: you don’t exactly seem quite confident. And like, I may totally be missing the vibe, and maybe you are really confident, but you kind of keep that hidden. It’s just whenever you talk to me about Yukhei, you seem to always worry if you’re good enough for him. And when you talk about YOURSELF, you exaggerate things in a diminishing way.”

“Damn,” Mark muttered. “That got deep fast.”

“Oh, like, I’m sorry I guess?” Ten chuckled. “But seriously, I think you need to start appreciating yourself a bit more. And one way to do that is by focusing on body positivity! But also because you lowkey got a ton of cake down there and it deserves to be appreciated.”

“Hyuuuung!” Mark chided, playfully reaching out and swatting him. Ten just grinned and popped open the lid of his cup to get the final droplets of the sweet drink. The two didn’t bring up anything about intimacy or pole dancing for the rest of their little day out, and Ten didn’t even make jokes when they rolled their cart past the lingerie section at Target and instead headed straight to the monstrous cheese puffs container.

After say goodbye and parting, Yukhei came and picked Mark up outside of the store.

“Did you have fun, babe?”

“Tons,” Mark replied, fitting his two Target bags full of snacks and some groceries in the trunk. “I bought you one of those ube muffins from ‘The Rose-tery’ earlier, but it’s probably cold by now. I’m sorry.”

“Aww babe, don’t be sorry! That’s so sweet of you!” After Mark slid into the passenger seat, Yukhei tilted his head towards him and kissed him softly. Mark nuzzled his face closer, sealing their lips together in a soothing kiss. Yukhei pulled away and smiled softly, before leaning in once again and pecking Mark’s lips softly before fixing himself in front of the steering wheel. Mark looked at Yukhei in awe for the majority of the ride home, his heart fluttering.

3 hours later, after the older cooked up a scrumptious dinner of steamed veggies and shrimp orzo rice with the groceries bought earlier, the two cuddled up close to watch a movie (thankfully there were no awkward conversations interrupting). Mark couldn’t help but snuggle his head down against Yukhei’s shoulder, and Yukhei couldn’t help but turn his head and take long breaths where his nose was pressed up against Mark’s fluffy hair, basking in the scent of cool shampoo and the younger’s natural scent.

Unfortunately though, Yukhei, being the clumsy giant he is, spilled chocolate syrup all over his shirt when trying to surprise Mark with a sundae. So while the older was in the laundry room setting up an emergency load for his shirt, Mark curled up on the couch, licking the sundae spoon, scrolling through his phone.

\------------------------------------  
| 2 Messages from **Chitaprrrrrr** |  
\------------------------------------

“‘Thank me later’?” Mark read aloud. Looking up, he found Ten had hyperlinked a website in a message, and after clicking, he was met face to face with the mobile website for the pole dancing class. At first, he was a bit hesitant to click around, worried that he might run into some photos he didn’t want to see. But the more he scrolled, the more he realized that the class was very fitness based and didn’t seem dirty at all. It looked fun, and as Mark was scrolling through the websites gallery filled with photos of yoga and exercises, Ten sent another message.

“Just try it, markee. You’ll like it a lot! Trust me!”

“Whatcha looking at?” Yukhei called as he sauntered back into the room, wearing his soft grey sleep t-shirt. “Mmmm nothing,” Mark responds, as he turned off his phone and stood up to hug his husband.

“Aww so clingy tonight. Is everything okay?”

Mark nodded into the taller’s chest. Yukhei patted his back, signaling for Mark to jump into his arms. “Woah heavvyyyy!” Yukhei groaned as Mark struggled to fit snugly into his arms. “But don’t worry, I’m big and strong! In fact, I would flex my bicep right now, but it looks like I’d drop you-”

“Eeeek! Don’t drop me please!” Mark squealed as Yukhei pretended to suddenly drop him. The older laughs and begins to carry Mark to bed. The younger wrapped his legs around Yukhei’s waist and leaned his head on his shoulder. Yukhei lovingly kicked the comforter aside and laid Mark down before straddling his waist. He ran his hands up and down Mark’s torso gently before pressing their lips together in a chaste kiss. Mark’s eyes fluttered close and gave in to Yukhei’s affection. After a few minutes of sweet pecks and soothing whispers, Mark wiggled his hips. “You say I’m the heavy one when you're literally murdering my hips here.”

Yukhei rolled off him and onto the other side of the bed giggling. “Ok, fine, fine!” Nonetheless, the older made grabby hands for Mark, and the two laid there, staring into each other's eyes, both lovestruck all over again. The magic in the air broke when Yukhei whispered “oh shoot, I didn’t brush my teeth.”

Mark just blinked blankly. “You just had to ruin the vibe, didn’t you?” The couple then began giggling, and Mark still snickered even as Yukhei left for the bathroom.

Mark opened his phone again and stared at the class registration page. _Fuck it._ Mark thought, and he clicked the Sign Up page.


	2. The Business in Room 127

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Great. It's day 1 of the pole dancing class Mark had impulsively signed up for. What could possibly go wrong? Maybe... everything?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am soooo incredibly sorry for this chapter coming out so late! I had to rewrite it a ton of times because I wanted the characters to come off a certain way, and I just couldn't get it right. But yea, here is chapter 2! I didn't really think people would be interested or even like this (it is my first work afterall), but I guess quarantine really do got us vibin. Enjoy (and stream TBT)!

The “Seoul Athletics and Fitness Center” building is a large one. With revolving doors and countless courts for every single sport imaginable (apparently there’s a class for “speed-walking”). And it took Mark about 15 minutes to find Room 127, which of course meant that he was the last one to walk into the pole dancing class room, all eyes upon him.

It wasn’t a large group, with only about 12 attendees total. Mark wasn’t surprised to see the group mostly women, and he felt shy all of a sudden.  _ These were going to be the people that will watch you make a fool of yourself _ , he thought. His mind started racing; it wouldn’t hurt anyone if he just pretended he was in the wrong room, right?

But before he could fake a mistake, a lady with bright, icy hair walked to where he was.

“Hi there! You must be Mark! My name is Solar, and I’ll be your instructor for this course!”

_ Damn it. _ Mark’s plan was ruined, but at least he wouldn’t have to go through the pain of explaining that he was there for the actual class and not just some random guy showing up by the pole dancing room. People would judge him, and Mark hated being judged.

“Uhh hi, Seongsaengnim. I’m sorry I’m late,” Mark replied, bowing his head for the sake of formalities. 

“Mark, no need to apologize! This place is quite huge. And also, you can just simply call me ‘noona’ if you’d like. I hope that we’ll all be good friends!” Solar turned and faced the rest of class. “That goes for the rest of you too! Call me ‘unnie’, ‘noona’, or whatever you’re comfortable with! This environment is supposed to be relaxed and friendly!”

She turned back to Mark. “Thanks for coming! You can put your belongings in one of those cubbies over there, and then we’ll meet in the front of the room now that we’re all here.” And with that, Solar smiled and walked to the said spot, clapping her hands loudly to gain attention while Mark scurried off to the cubbies.

The instructor went through a quick round of introducing herself and what the class would ensue. They would meet twice a week for two months; their Monday session focussing on developing new skills and working on goals, while their Thursday session would be more independent and one-on-one with Solar, working on routines and refining their skills. They would also incorporate yoga and mental-self-care practices into their 90 minute long sessions; something that made Mark freeze up.

_ So that’s what Ten was referring to. The sneaky bastard. _

“Any questions?” she asked.

“Solar-unnie, will this class teach stuff that’s... naughty? It is pole dancing afterall.”

Some of the other girls in the class giggled -some playfully slapped the one who asked the question. Mark looked down at the floor for a moment, almost in shame.  _ What if it’s weird for me to be here for Yukhei? Will they think I’m a pervert? A slut??? _ When he looked up again, he found Solar’s warm eyes met his for a second before she turned back to the inquirer. “Pole dancing is seen as erotic in many cultures, and there’s nothing wrong with being here for more erotic reasons. It’s a way of expressing all kinds of emotions, even the ones that you call ‘naughty’. I won’t be teaching the class any sexy moves, because I am not familiar with the area myself. But if you want, I’m sure I can answer at least some of your questions.”

The girl didn’t respond, and an awkward tension filled the air as some of the students shuffled and whispered to each other. Mark sunk his shoulders even further down, feeling even more ashamed.  _ They’re all going to think I’m a slut. I’m disgusting. _

“Jeez, are your thoughts always this loud?”

Mark whipped his head around to see, surprisingly, another boy. This one had beautiful tan skin and a round, somewhat heart-shaped face. He leaned in and whispered “you literally are like some Disney animal; so easy to tell when you’re sad. What’s wrong?”

“Haechan,” Solar called. The boy perked his head up. “Your whispering is really audible to the class. Would you mind talking to Mark about his ‘disney animal’ similarities once we’ve at least started our stretches?”

“Of course, Noona!”

“Thank you,” she called back, with a joking smirk.

The group was dismissed to their cubbies to grab their yoga mats to start with warmups. Mark slided out his watermelon patterned yoga mat that Yukhei bought (“wait, why do you need a yoga mat again?” “Uhhhh I signed up for  _ yoga _ class”) and was prepared to set up shop towards the back of the group, when the guy supposedly named “Haechan” strided over towards him.

“Hey, so like, I barely know anyone here, and I was wondering if you’d like to hang because we’re literally the only guys here, and I lowkey think that the others are gonna judge the fuck out of me if I try sneaking into their little cliques.” Haechan avered.

Mark, very flustered and shy, responded with a small little “sure, I guess.”

And so it began, Mark and Haechan’s jovial little partnership while the ladies went their own way, ignoring the guys’ existence. Mark would be lying if he said it didn’t hurt, because it did; feeling all ostracized. But at least he had Haechan with him, cracking jokes and bones, because Mark didn’t know what he would do if it was just him.

When the group entered the room with the actual poles, Mark had so many regrets.  _ How could I even look appealing flailing around one of those things? Nonetheless, even learn how to work it without breaking all my bones?  _ he thought. Solar was very cautious and assigned partners to set up thin safety mats at the base of each pole. After she double checked that they were all set up, she began to teach.

Within a matter of minutes, Mark needed to memorize a whole new vocabulary of pole dancing terminology. Mark never knew that something as simple as reaching up the pole and grabbing it had a special technique, but it did, and now he was even more scared.  _ What if I mess up? What if I forget something??? _

Before he knew it, it was time to start on the pole. There were 2 more people in the class than there were poles, and Mark wished that he had to share one, because that would mean he could watch everyone else go before doing it himself. But no, he had a big, silver, shiny pole all to himself. Yay?

“Everyone, check your grip. Thumbs up towards the ceiling,” Solar called, inspecting everyone’s grip. “Mark, don’t stand on your tippy toes. Just relax your feet and shoulders, and reach up.”

“Sorry,” he mumbled. 

“Don’t be!”

60 minutes later, Mark was a sore mess. Bruises on his legs from simple glides, and a nasty one on his butt from where he smacked down onto the mat after a very failed attempt at a foot lock Solar was helping him with. Unlike himself, Haechan was a natural; gliding and striding, and even the instructor was impressed.

“It probably came from those years of ballet as a kid,” he explained with a shrug.

When Mark left the building to see Lucas sitting in the parking lot, waiting to pick him up, Mark almost cried. He hopped into the passenger seat and slammed the door behind him, but before Lucas could ask him anything, Mark pressed their lips together in a kiss. Lucas wasn’t one to shy away from some affection from his husband, so he just wrapped Mark in a hug and kissed him back. Mark pulled away and nuzzled his face into Lucas’s shoulder, taking a large inhale of “Lucas Smell”, which was Mark’s name for Lucas’s natural scent of bread and pasta and crackling hearths you’d cuddle by.

“Much better,” Mark murmured to no one in particular, letting out a soft sigh of relief.

Lucas pet his hair. “Everything ok, baby?” he questioned tilting his head to make eye contact.

Mark nodded. “Yoga is hella tiring. And I want some watermelon.”

The couple headed home and began preparing dinner (a fettuccine alfredo with a butter lettuce salad… and some watermelon pops for dessert), and as Mark was stirring the pasta, Lucas and his ginormous hands latched onto Mark’s shoulders and began rubbing, causing Mark to squirm in pain. “Ouch ouch ouch…. I’m sore….”

The older frowned and softly traced the skin with his thumbs, sculpting the nape of his neck and applying hints of pressure in sensitive spots that made Mark let out softs exhales. 

“My gosh, so you’re a head chef, and now a masseur?”

Lucas just smiled as he pressed a kiss to the crown of Mark’s head and continued the massage, caressing his husband’s shoulders.

The rest of the night went smoothly; the dishes were in the dishwasher, they managed to squeeze in 3 episodes of their show (which might’ve been interrupted by a loving make out session), and as Mark curled up in bed with Lucas on the toilet, scrolling through his phone, he got yet another text from Ten.

**Chitaprrrrrr:** So, I heard you went?

**Lion:** From who?

**Chitaprrrrrr:** You know Hendery still goes there, right?

He’s just in the advanced class, and he saw 

Lucas waiting for you

**Lion:** Ahhhhhh tell him to stop stalking me >:(

**Chitaprrrrrr:** No can do. How was it????

**Lion:** painful. Im literally sore all over

**Chitaprrrrrr** : Damn, im sorry i guess? But like, I was

the one who encouraged you to do it, so like

my bad.

**Chitaprrrrrr:** But it gets easier tho!

**Lion:** it better

Mark shut off his phone and plugged it in as he felt Lucas slip under the covers and wrap muscular arms around his waist.

Hell yea, pole dancing was painful, but with Lucas at his side and 15 classes yet to come, a spark of curiosity inside Mark told him to keep going; to see what comes next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember, BLM is a movement, not a moment. Do what you can to save lives.  
> https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/
> 
> (If you have any constructive criticism or thoughts on this chapter, feel free to share it down below!)


	3. Love you like I do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS  
> This chapter may be triggering for some, as it is a bit dark. The following warnings are here to help, so please don't read if any of these are your triggers!
> 
> -Depression  
> -Depressing thoughts  
> -Mentions of harm (no details)  
> \- homophobia  
> \- use of the "f****t" word*
> 
> Please follow your gut! If any of these sound triggering to you in the slightest way, don't read! It's okay!
> 
> *note that I do not endorse use of this word and am highly against it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the late update. I lowkey struggle with this sense of perfectionism, and I really didn't know how to write this chapter. Remember that there are always people to look to and to help you if you relate to any of the harmful things in this chapter! 
> 
> Stay safe everyone!
> 
> I also recommend listening to a comforting song if this chapter puts you in a mood. I wrote it because I wanted to spread a message, but it can be triggering for some, so PLEASE go over the above triggers one more time!

Haechan seemed to be a natural at pole dancing. There’s no question about it: in their 12 sessions the class had shared so far, Haechan always seemed to surpass the expectations and more. Perhaps being labeled the best in the class by Solar herself made the petty ladies snobby and green with envy, but a little jealousy wasn’t something the guy couldn’t handle.

And maybe it was also Mark who was just a tiny bit jealous too, because he certainly wasn’t the best at pole dancing too. He for sure got the gist of it, but he was overwhelmed by the little details where Mark had to be natural. _Toss your head back. Straighten your leg. Accentuate your figure._ In his head and in his words, he talked about how he was comfortable with those things. _No biggie,_ he’d think, but when it came to actually do it, it apparently was _biggie._

_They’ll judge you,_ the voice in his head said. And Mark hated being looked down upon, because according to him, he was looked down upon a lot. When he came out as bi at the age of 16, he was shunned. Nobody talked to him, and his family treated him like a different person. It wasn’t like they treated him poorly, but they treated him like an outsider; like he all of a sudden wasn’t the same Mark they loved and joked around with even when he was closeted. And it was being neglected by his very own friends and family that sent him spiraling to a dark place; a place full of depression, nasty thoughts, and harm.

In that dark place was where Mark met the voice in his head. The voice that always told him he wasn’t good enough. That he was a burden. A failure. So when Ten invited him to accompany his date with Johnny, and that he was bringing a guy for Mark, he didn’t care. Cause back then, it was hard to find something to care for when you’re a twenty-year old whose parents completely cut off contact with you.

But the guy Ten brought was something else. Wong Yukhei, who went by the name “Lucas” at the time (a fraternity nickname), was a force to be reckoned with. During the dinner, he was loud and jovial and seemed not to have a care in the world. He was the kind of guy you would stereotype as a “soft fuckboy” kind of type - AKA, the type Mark Lee didn’t want to associate with.

However, Ten, being the sly bastard he was, coaxed Mark to give him a second go, and needless to say, at the end of the night, Mark found himself buried in Yukhei’s shoulder, crying his eyes out while the older ran fingers through Mark’s hair and whispered him to a gentle sleep. Because for the first time in 4 years, someone understood and cared, cause while yes, Ten and Johnny and Yuta cared about him so much, Yukhei was just different. Yukhei brought something to the table that none of the other cheap relationships Mark had had did: a bond.

And so there Mark was, on a Thursday night, limbs sore from pole dancing and bruises littering the back of his calves from twisting and failing on the pole for 90 minutes straight, thinking about the past. The past was one of those things that Mark and his therapist agreed to try to steer clear of when reflecting on life, but it was hard for him considering there were so many things about the past that influenced the present he lived in.

“Mark, you’re thinking of the past again.”

The younger was startled out of his pondering to find Yukhei lent up against the doorframe in his snowy gray sweatshirt (that Mark stole 24/7) and PJ bottoms, carrying a big pile of fluffy blankets.

“Here, I just got these out of the dryer. They should still be warm! Use them where you’re sore!”

Mark sighed in relief as Yukhei pressed a nice and toasty one along his shoulders and back of the neck. “I don’t deserve you,” he muttered. 

“Don’t say that,” Yukhei chided, moving so that the two were face to face. 

“But I don’t! That’s the thing.” Mark looked down in shame, his voice getting more exasperated. “You’re so good to me and always take care of me, but I feel like if the positions were switched, I could never take care of you. I would mess up-”

Mark’s rambling was cut short as Yukhei gently kissed him, wrapping his arms around the other and pulling him into his lap. Mark melted in his arms and gave in, parting his mouth in the slightest way so that Yukhei could slip his tongue in. The two made out for a bit, kissing and licking, their hands more frenzied and needy.

Somehow, Mark found himself on his back with his shirt scrunched under his armpits, hands strewn above his head as Yukehi kissed and sucked blooming marks onto Mark’s tummy and chest. 

“Mark, please don’t think that.”

“Huh?” Mark asked, peeking his head up a little bit.

Yukhei bent down and pressed a warm kiss a few inches above his belly button. “Don’t doubt yourself. You’re so sweet and kind, and I think - no, I _know_ that you deserve all the good things life brings you. You already take care of me so much. And I-”

“I do?” Mark asked, propping up on his elbows to see his husband better.

“Yes, you do. You’re the sunset at the end of my day. You’re what keeps me going when work at the restaurant is too hard, and I feel like everything’s going downhill. But you prove me that it’s not going downhill, and do you really think I would be where I am now, head chef at my very own restaurant, finally happy with my life, without you?”

“Fuck, I’m going to cry…”

Yukhei giggled a bit and laid his head down on Mark’s belly, feeling the rise and fall of his breaths. “It’s okay. Let it out.”

The couple stayed like that for a few moments, just basking in their closeness, before Mark whispered, “were you going to say something earlier?”

“I honestly forgot, but there’s one more thing.” Yukhei intwined their fingers in one hand and crawled up the bed to get a spare pillow next to Mark’s head. “You’re so good to me Mark. So gentle and sweet. Let me take care of you tonight,” he murmured, voice low, lips ghosting along the other’s ear. He tossed the pillow on the ground at the foot of the bed and hopped onto the pillow, kneeling until he was eye level with the bed in between Mark’s spread legs.

Mark blushed a bright pink as he felt his lover’s hands touch the waistband of his loose boxers but before doing anything further, Yukhei asked, “can we do this? It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

But Mark merely placed his hands over his husband’s and slowly started pulling down the waistband himself .

“Yes, Yukhei,” he whispered, voice suddenly airy and light and submissive. “Please take care of me.”

  
  


\---

“Jesus fuck, Mark. What the hell did you and Yukhei even do?”

It was a Tuesday at 3:45 pm, a few minutes before the beginning of lesson 13, and Mark was in the bathroom stealing Hyuck’s full coverage foundation, patting a beauty blender at the array of dark hickeys littering his neck and collar bone. Yeah, maybe a weekend of intense (and rather kinky) lovemaking wasn’t the best idea considering they both had to go in public, and Mark was more sore than any pole dancing class had left him.

“Wait, let me guess. You guys cuddled, it led to making out, and then you fucked?”

Mark shot Hyuck a cold glare. “Ah, my bad,” Hyuck said. “You fucked _several_ times. Did I get it right this time?”

Mark rolled his eyes and secretly blushed at his recollection of the past few days, continuing the attempt to get a certain mark right by his jaw.

“Mark, that isn’t even your color. You’re better off just washing it off and letting all those ladies watch you in all your post-orgasm glow. Seriously.”

“Hyuck, let’s be real, they don’t want to see me like this, and frankly, I don’t _want_ them to see me like this.”

“Who cares if you have hickies? You’re literally married and are in a healthy relationship where you guys have sex! If they get upset, that’s just because their single asses are jealous!”

A few minutes went by in silence as Mark finished with the makeup.

“You’re not afraid of them, are you?”

Mark froze and inhaled shakily. “No?”

“Good, because people are going to judge others whether you like it or not. People are gonna say mean things, and those mean things are gonna hurt. You can’t avoid it these days.” Mark looked over at Hyuck to see the usually bubbly boy looking at the tile floor with pursed lips, and for the first time, Mark saw the bit of him that was vulnerable and very unconfident.

“But hey,” the younger said, looking up again and flashing a cheap smile. “You’re either gonna run away from those that judge you, or you’re going to sashay right past them. Of course, beating them up is another option, but like, don’t do that either.”

Mark nodded hazily and hesitated before glancing at himself one more time in the mirror. “I think I’m all good. Thanks for letting me use this.”

“Anytime. Just next time, ask your hubby to keep all of his love-bites strictly below the collar bone.”

“Don’t worry! There won’t be a ‘next time’ anytime soon!”

Hyuck stopped in front of the bathroom door, and turned back. “I wouldn’t be so sure!” And with that, he flung the door open and left, leaving a very flustered Mark in his wake.

Pole dancing class was going pretty well that day. Mark didn’t feel the many eyes staring at his makeup, and was too busy trying to hide how sore his _bottom half_ was. Solar, however, got a very important phone call in the middle of class. All the students were so tired and sore that they really didn’t mind when Solar explained she had to make another phone call.

The class was given a 15 minute break to chill, take a break, or practice some more, so Mark picked up his phone and headed out of the room to talk to Yukhei.

“Hey babe! How was work?”

“It was great,” Mark heard Yukhei say from across the line. “I got some important news for you though…”

“Wait, what happened?”

“Well….. We’ve been awarded the ‘Locally Sourced Best Home Started Restaurant Award of 2020’!”

Mark shrieked in happiness. “Yukhei, you did it! I’m so happy for you! I’ll have to stop by this weekend and we’ll celebrate with the crew!!!”

“Ahhh thank you so much, babe! It means a lot!”

“I gotta get back to pole- err, I mean, yoga class, so I’ll talk to you in a few when you pick me up!” 

“Great! See you soon, babe. Love you!”

Mark grinned and hung up, about to head back to class, when he heard two voices.

“It’s irresponsible and disgusting! Why are they even allowed into the same class as us?”

“Aiyah, people are trying to be _inclusive_ and all that bull shit.”

Mark immediately recognized the voices as two of the ladies in his class, specifically the two partners that were 3 poles down from his pole. 

“Hey, at least one of them hasn’t officially came out as gay.”

“But what about the other one? Mark? Isn’t that his name? I thought he’s bi?”

“Bi, gay, pan, I don’t care. He’s literally already married to ANOTHER guy, and that’s disgusting enough.”

Mark’s eyes began to water, and he felt his stomach start to hurt like it always did when a panic attack was coming. _What were the methods they taught me in therapy? Breath in for four, breath out for four? Ok, let’s try that._

But even as Mark’s mind raced to calm down, he could sense the voice was near. 

“I’m just gonna say it.”

“Say what?”

“I don’t feel comfortable with gay people, and I certainly don’t want to be in a class with a _faggot_ like him.”

And with that, all the protective measures Mark had used to try and calm himself came crashing down. His head felt light and heavy at the same time; like it all of a sudden weighed 15kg. He tried to maintain his breathing, but it was no use, and he began to hyperventilate.

_Run. Run._ the voice in his head whispered. _Get out of here. You’re so weak. Get out. No one will miss you._

And so he did. He shakily walked in the opposite direction of the voices and to the stairs. He had to grip the railing for dear life as he stumbled down, his vision going splotchy and dizzying. The lady at the front desk of the center might’ve said something to him, but that didn’t matter, because the moment he was out of those glass doors, he was sprinting. Sprinting away from the building. He gasped for breath and his voice sputtered. There was no use trying to stop the tears that started pouring down his face as he broke down. He continued to run.

Running from the words that hurt him so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a quick note:  
> the sad thing about this chapter is that even though this is fan fiction, things like this happen in real life too! Be a comforting hand. Be an ally. You'll never know when there's someone out there that just needs a place to feel safe and appreciated.


	4. Awkward Confrontations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes fear can cloud your vision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that in this chapter, there are slight mentions about panic attacks, fear, and homophobia. Do not read if those trigger you! Stay safe and healthy!
> 
> (Not beta read)

Was there any reason for Yukhei to be sitting outside of the Seoul Athletics and Fitness center at 5 pm, listening to his “warm and fuzzy” playlist through his airpods, waiting for his husband to get out of his “yoga” class 30 minutes early? No, but that didn’t stop Yukhei from doing it anyway.

And yea, the balled watermelon and boba drink in the passenger seat reserved for Mark was very tempting, but Yukhei had (just a tiny bit) of self control left from his grueling day at the restaurant, and that was enough. Now in regards to his husband, he didn’t expect to get a phone call from Ten.

“Yukhei, he’s missing.”

He froze. “What do you mean he’s missing?”

“Mark. Mark’s missing. Ran away.”

“Ten, what kind of fucking sick joke is this. I’m gonna hang u-”

Yukhei heard someone shift behind the phone before Ten snapped. “Wong Yukhei, your husband just ran away from his pole dancing class and won’t answer any calls and could be in danger for all we know. This isn’t a fucking joke.”

In the several years he had known him, Yukhei had never heard Ten so frightened and angry before. And it scared the shit out of him. But Mark’s state scared him even more. Mark had previously had breakdowns before -several times- and all of them were very serious. During those times, Yukhei had to be by his side to help soothe him and then to take care of him while Mark was unable to take care of himself. At the start of their relationship, it was always a touchy subject, especially since that was when it was still hard for Mark to open up about his past and realize his mental health problems were valid. So that’s when Yukhei grew very protective and gentle around him, showering him with the love that he deserved so much but didn’t get. And he enjoyed it; enjoyed watching Mark grow more happy and more stable.

“Where did you see him last?”

“Well, technically, I didn’t see him last. It was one of his classmates; a guy named Haechan or something. This Haechan told Hen Hen, who told me, who is now telling you.”

“Ten, I don’t care about that. Where did ‘Haechan’ see him last?” His words might’ve come off harsh, but Ten knew deep down that Yukhei was terrified out of his mind. 

“Haechan saw him run out of the building. And quickly too, apparently.”

“Oh my god, were people chasing him?”

Ten sighed. “I don’t think so, but Yukhei, please give me updates. I want to see him safe too, you know.”

“I will Ten. Thanks.” And with that, he hung up and dialed another number.

_ Please answer, baby. Please answer. _

“Hi, you’ve reached Mark’s mailbox! I am currently not available to answer the pho-”

_ DAMMIT.  _ Yukhei yelled (internally) as he started the car.  _ I need to try again. He hung up, so that means his phone is on him. _ Connecting his phone to the car’s bluetooth, he clicked the contact labeled “Hubby 🦁” one more time. Almost instantly, he was met with another “Hi, you’ve reached Mark’s mailbox! I am currently not available to answer the phone right now!”

Leaving the parking lot, he recorded a message.

“Hey baby, it’s me. Ten called, and I need to know where you are right now, ok? Can you call me or text me. I just want to make sure you’re safe. I have a little treat for you too. Please call me back when you hear this, Mark.”

_ Where should I go right now? Well, no, let’s think of it from another perspective. Where would MARK go right now? _

He stared at Mark’s little contact on the car’s monitor while waiting at the red light.  _ He’s not going to answer, don’t do it. _ But the other side of Yukhei was telling him to do it.  _ Ah whatever, third time’s a charm. _

The dialing tone rang. And rang. And rang.  _ He’s not going to pick up.  _

But then the dial tone stopped and someone picked up.

Both ends of the line were silent. Yukhei could hear a faint hum of wind in the background.

“Mark?” he asked, in his most gentlest voice possible.

A pause.

“Yukhei?”

His heart broke. Mark sounded so scared and afraid, and there was nothing Yukhei wanted to do more than scoop the younger up in his arms and caress his back and tell him it was going to be okay. But in order to do that, he had to get to Mark first.

“Hi baby! Thank you for picking up. Do you know where you are right now?”

“Don’t know.” Mark responded quietly.

“Oh, ummm, are you in public? By a store anywhere?”

He could hear Mark’s faint little “hmmmmmm” and “uhhhhh” before he answered “by the Rose-Tery. At the park.”

_ Damn he ran far. _ “Ok! I’m gonna come to you right now, ok? Can you stay where you are?”

“Ok.”

“Yay! Can you also keep me on the phone while I drive?”

At this question, he heard Mark’s uncertainty over the line. 

“Sure, Yukhei.”

And with that Yukhei sped off to the Rose-tery. It was only a few blocks away, and during the drive, Yukhei made sure to make small talk with Mark the whole way (“why don’t you find a nice place to sit down?” “Tonight, I’m craving some tea. How does that sound? Some warm tea and your freshly washed pjs!”). 

Parking in the lot next to the playground, he looked around, tucking his phone into his pocket. The park was a big one, with paths and gardens and playgrounds. The sky was cloudy and overcast- like it was about to rain, and Yukhei fretted. He grabbed the plastic ‘thank you’ bag with the treats and headed out on the search.

Perhaps he was a bit overdramatic, because spotting Mark’s fluffy mop of hair sitting by one of the fountains. Yukehi rushed over to see his husband still on the phone, not realizing that Yukhei was standing right in front of him.

“Mark?”

Mark looked up and parted his mouth like he was going to say something, but Yukhei interrupted him with a strong hug- hands weaving themselves around Mark’s torso and connecting at the back to truly lock his beloved in an embrace. He could tell Mark was a bit taken off guard with his sudden affection, but within seconds, he exhaled and melted in his arms. It was only another few seconds before Yukhei could feel the tears seeping through his puffy coat. Another few before he could hear Mark’s quiet sniffling.

“Oh Mark,” he whispered, pulling away to meet his lover’s puffy eyes and splotchy cheeks. “Just let it out.”

And so Mark did, pressing his forehead against Yukhei’s and plain out crying, his fear and stress pouring out of him.  _ You look disgusting, _ Mark’s mind told him.  _ You’re in public. _ That only hurt him more, and he tried taking a big, shuddery breath to hold in tears that wanted to fall so bad. But his husband was having none of that, and brought up a hand to softly cup his chin. “Baby, just let go. It’s ok. I’m here for you.”

“But the people around us aren’t.”

“What do you mean?”

Mark let out a shaky breath in an attempt to calm himself. “People. They-they have something against me. Whether because I like guys or am shy or not attractiv-”

“Not attractive? I beg to differ.”

“-but that’s the thing! When so many people are saying the same things, it’s- it becomes-” Mark remarked. He took a pause and a deep breath. “It’s really hard to not believe them. To not agree with them when they say that it’s disgusting for me to be gay, or that I HAVE to be outgoing and dominant, or that I’m too skinny and thin to be deemed appealing!”

Yukhei sighed and removed his hands from around Mark’s back and cheek.

“Wait, Yukhei, I didn’t mean to make you ma-”

“Honey, I’m not mad. Well, I am, but not at you.”

The younger cocked and eyebrow and wiped his nose. “But who?”

Yukhei looked down and knitted their fingers together, softly tracing his thumbs up and down Mark’s index finger. “I’m mad that we live in a world that won’t see Mark Lee for the wonderful and beautiful person he is. And I’m mad that you have to go through everything, because you, of all people, don’t deserve to be hurt, nonetheless hurt yourself.”

Mark blinked a few times, letting the other’s words sink in. Then, he began to giggle.

Yukhei just looked at him with a blank look.  _ Was it something I said? Nah, my words were pretty deep. His crying must’ve triggered a laughing response… is that a thing? _

“Uhhhh what did I say now?” the older asked, making it his turn to cock his eyebrow. “I can’t believe that this deep, life changing moment came from me doing a pole dancing class,” the younger responded, using his wrist to wipe his eyes as he giggled some more.

“A pole dancing class?”

“A pole dancing class!”

Yukhei furrowed his eyebrows as a puzzled look passed his face, causing Mark to start full on laughing. Rain drizzled down from the sky in a soft mist that seated itself in the lovers’ hair, and the park began to empty. “So you’re telling me, the whole entire time you said you’ve been going to yoga, you’ve been attending a pole dancing class?”

“Yes, silly,” Mark chided playfully. “A pole dancing class.”

“Huh,” Yukhei said. “Hold on- was it like,  _ sexy? _ Are you gonna leave your job as a professor and turn into a stripper? Wait, or are you going to do both, like, a professor by day, a stripper by night? Or are you gonna become a sexy professor that teaches you physics while ri-”

“Yukhei stop! No, I’m not going to become a pole dancer  _ or  _ stripper. The class itself is actually for fitness, you know. But like, if you’re fantasizing about snazzy professor me pole dancing while lecturing you on quantum mechanics, we can work that out, just not here.”

“I’m interested,” Yukhei said while tossing Mark his little ‘Lenny Face’, which made the two laugh. It was small little laughable moments like these that Mark loved the most. Ones that made him feel safe with Yukhei and comfortable.

…

“So are you going to talk to that bitch or not?”

“Haechan, I can’t just go confront her about a conversation I eavesdropped on that was meant to be private.”

The younger sighed and readjusted his mess of a man-bun that looked like a very small ponytail. “I don’t know, but letting someone get away with calling you a - well, you know- sits right with me. Even if it was a private convo. Even if it was behind your back.”

“The best thing to do is to be the better man… or men, and just not say anything. We’ll just know she’s a bitch internally, and she’ll live her life happily, not knowing that there are two guys out there that know  _ exactly _ who she is.”

“Wow, Mark. That’s harsh. I like it.” Solar hadn’t just yet finished greeting everyone joining the room, so the two could gossip all they wanted within the safety of the back corner of the room. 

The whole  _ mishap _ (as Yukhei had come to call it) had happened a month ago, and by now, Mark had considered himself a stronger guy. Yukhei was very hesitant to allow him to attend the class, but Mark had assured him that it would be all good, and that if anything bad happened, Haechan would know to directly contact Yukhei and how to calm Mark down. Luckily, nothing bad or triggering had happened within the last few sessions, and Haechan could effectively say he did not have to contact Yukhei for anything.

“I find it kind of funny,” Hyuck started. “That she said you were the only one who had come out.”

“Wait, what?”

“Mark, I went on a date on Monday!”

Mark stared at him before smiling. “That’s great, Hyuckie! With who?”

“Well, it’s kind of cheesy, but I bumped into him at the farmer’s market on Saturday and accidentally knocked over a basket of sunflowers he was selling. His name’s Renjun, and like, I’m pretty sure we hit it off.”

Mark did a little excited clap. “That’s great- wait you’re going to let me meet him to see if he’s good enough for you.”

Haechan laughed. “Of course!”

Solar then rounded up the class for their last session. “I’m all so proud of you guys,” she stated, hands on her hips, looking very proud indeed. “You guys had a really good mindset throughout this whole thing, and I’d be very happy if you were to join my Intermediate class!”

She went on more, and some of the students talked about their experiences. “Well, that was enough reminiscing for us. Let’s get started.”

This class went by really fast. Maybe because it was their last session. Maybe it’s because they were just fooling around and making up their own, very beginner centric, routines. For once, the time in Room 127 felt too short, and when Solar eyed the clock and called for everybody to get the items in their cubbies and circle up for some parting words, Mark felt something in his chest that resembled sadness.

“Thank you, Solar-unnie! This class was very fun, and I might consider joining the next level up!”

“That’s great, Mark! You improved a lot, and I’m glad your mindset did too! Thank you for joining!”

Walking down the steps of the Seoul Athletics and Fitness center, Hyuck joked, “Dang, I’m tearing up, bro.”

“Hyuck, you’ll be fine! We’re going to stay in contact!” Mark spotted Yukhei leant against the car in the second row of parking spaces, bouquet in hand and a balloon shaped with the number 2. When Yukhei spotted Mark, he began waving the bouquet and shaking the balloon, like a little 5 year old who just spotted his mom.

“HAPPY REALLY EARLY 2ND ANNIVERSARY, MARK!”

Mark blushed a rosy shade of pink. “Awwwww,” Hyuck cooed. “He looks like a puppy. Y’all are so cute together.”

“Haha, thanks, Hyuck. I bet you and Mr. Sunflower will turn out very cute too.”

“Wait, Mark, before you go, please promise me that you’re going to stay safe. Stay strong.”

“Don’t worry, Hyuck, I will.”

He was confident about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> p.s: Yukhei may or may not have gotten Mark a pole for their 2nd Anniversary
> 
> Anyways, that is the end of this book! I am incredibly sorry that it took basically a whole summer to write, but I really hope you enjoyed. As a side note, I'm thinking about creating another Markhei story in this AU (or possibly some Johnten & Renhyuck), so please let me know in the comments if you'd like to see that!
> 
> Stay safe, and thank you for reading!


End file.
